Catholic in Film School

World Youth Day is officially over, and at the moment my group is staying in a local parish in Bourke, Australia, a tiny country town out in the outback about ten hours away from Sydney.

 Today we visited a local high school, a trade school for young mothers, got interviewed at the local radio station, took a boat tour of the Darling River, had mass at the local parish, were photographed by the local newspaper, and now we’re feasting on the food some local Aussies (I love calling them that) have prepared for us.

 And as it turns out, we’re famous in Bourke! Apparently they don’t get a lot of visitors here, and so by about noon today, everyone knew we were here.  The people are incredibly nice and hospitable (one woman gave us money this morning) and we’re looking forward to doing some more volunteer service tomorrow.

I have to go to finish feasting with the locals now. Please continue to pray for me and my group as we continue to bring a bit of the US to the people of Australia.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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And when I say I saw the pope I reallllly saw the pope! My assumptions were correct and my group was in the closest section possible! It got a little heated when part of the crowd broke through the barricade (one of my friends has a picture of some Slavic guy cursing out a police officer) but the experience was still awesome.  I wish I could write more, but there’s a line behind me to use the computer.

 Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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At the moment I’m at a covenience store/internet cafe in Moore Park in Sydney. I just saw Fr. Stan Fortuna play live and am on my way to another talk in about ten minutes.

 Pope Benedict arrives tomorrow! Opening mass was yesterday (mind you I’m a day ahead) and my footage is awful! We were in a horrible spot. But the good news is th

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I’m here in Sydney!

I just got off the plane and am writing this at a free internet kiosk. The plane ride was better than I imagined (Air New Zealand is officially the best airline ever). Pretty much everyone on the plane was going to WYD. There were some friars from the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, a group of Mexico, another from Minnesota, etc.

I have to go now, and hopefully I’ll update again tomorrow.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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I was planning on posting the CNMC episode this morning before I left but I just didn’t have the time. (It takes about as long to export, upload, and post an episode as it does to shoot and edit it.)

I should have access to a computer periodically, so I will try to update when I can. In the meantime, pleasepleaseplease pray for me and all of the pilgrims going on this trip. Hopefully, I’ll be alright on the plane rides (flying over water terrifies me) but we’re taking a red eye flight so hopefully I’ll sleep most of the time. I

And as to be expected, I will have plenty of footage to share when I get back.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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Have you ever noticed how the commercials for medicines for herpes, male impotence, and whatever other sexually related disease you can think of tend to be the cheesiest? It’s always some middle-aged douchey-looking handsome guy playing tennis or painting a picture as he turns to the camera and goes, “I have genital herpes.” (Boy, I wish a man would whisper those sweet nothings into my ear…)

In a similar vein, I’m sure you have noticed that the same “cheese factor” goes for birth control commercials as well….only this time it’s a girl kickboxing in the morning and riding a horse on the beach in the evening. One random day about a year ago, I decided to start to pay attention to these commercials. What I noticed is that after a new commercial for the birth control patch or baby-blocking thingamajig to stick up your vajayjay premieres, about six months later that commercial vanishes into thin air never to be seen again. Around the time it disappears, new commercials for class action lawsuits start to appear.

As my unscientific study concluded, the truth hurts, and sometimes it kills. Remember Gardasil, the HPV vaccine that was supposed to be the holy grail for girls everywhere? Those commercials disappeared a while ago:

The public interest group Judicial Watch recently obtained more than 8,000 reports, under the US Freedom of Information law, of adverse events in girls and young women after they were injected with the HPV vaccine Gardasil.

The reports reveal everything from massive wart outbreaks to seizures, paralysis and death.

Ten deaths have been reported since September 2007, bringing the total to 18 since the vaccine was approved for use in 2006.

In this year there have been 140 reported “serious” complications, 27 of which were categorized as “life-threatening,” as well as ten spontaneous abortions and six cases of Guillain-Barré Syndrome, a very rare (1 in 100,000 in a healthy population) immune response to foreign antigens such as infectious agents or vaccines, that paralyzes the afflicted person.

And may I remind you that Gardasil was the vaccine they were trying to push onto junior high schools.

Mary Mother of God, please pray for us. We’re killing ourselves for the sake of orgasms.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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This is one of those random posts that has zero to do with filmmaking and does nothing but show you how big of a dork I am.

Yesterday I didn’t do any blogging because I was out shopping all day and once I got back home I had to work on the book. I bought most all of the things I still needed for the World Youth Day trip, and then went and looked at the car that hopefully I will be purchasing in the next week.

This is a bit of a not-so-dark secret of mine…but I have alwaysalwaysalways wanted one of those really big hiking backpacks that makes you look like you belong on some nature show on the Discovery Channel. Since we’re doing a bit of a camping trip after the World Youth Day event, I decided it was time to fulfill my dream:

I wore it around the house for a good twenty minutes, and then put anything I could think of inside it to see how much it can hold. I love this backpack!

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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I’m excited…oh dear am I excited…

I typically don’t buy magazines unless I like the person on the cover. I saw a scan of this August issue of GQ magazine with Christian Bale on the front and made a mental note to buy it in the airport on my way to Sydney later this week.

The Dark Night opens in theaters July 18th. I actually didn’t like the Christian Bale version of Batman Begins (2005), but I do sincerely love Batman, and hearing that Heath Ledger was going to play the Joker peaked my interest.

If you haven’t seen the trailer for the film, you can check it out here. This one looks a lot darker, and rumor has it that there’s plenty of Oscar buzz for Heath’s peformance.

And speaking of film-related men, I had a rather lengthy conversation with Mark Banks of Soul Food Cinema via Skype on Saturday. He sounds just like Mr. Bingley! (Or any other obscure British fictional character you can think of.) He was supposed to be interviewing me for the site, though I know for a fact that I am a horrible interview when it comes to talking about movies. The interviewer will ask me something and then I’ll start to answer the question, but then go off on a tangent, and 15 minutes later I’ve forgotten what the question was. (Sorry Mark!)

If you’ve looked at the newest page “Appearances & Affiliates” you will notice that Soul Food Cinema is listed. Mark has just overhauled the site with a more user-friendly template so that readers can post comments about the films, much like IMDB.com. Also, there is a forum now, so if you haven’t joined that please do.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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During the last part of my interview with Mark he asked me to give a list of my top 20 films and an explanation as to why. Well, I will have you know that the title is actually kind of a misnomer. Instead of giving a list of my favorite classic and award-winning films that make it look like they’ve actually taught me something in film school, I decided to give a list of films that I really enjoy. The following are movies that I have seen multiple times and continue to watch, some of which have had an impact on my life and career.

In no particular order:

1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the second being my favorite of the three–why? Two words. Orlando Bloom. But besides Orlando Bloom, I love archetypal fantasy films.
2. The Passion of the Christ—the best depiction of Christ’s passion on film ever made in my opinion…I actually cried!
3. Rear Window—a classic Hitchcock film
4. The Godfather series (and yes I did like the third one!)
5. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid—It inspired my non-homicidal fascination with firearms and other weaponry.
6. Love & Basketball—a classic black teen film, it was the story of my life.
7. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—morally objectionable, but it still cracks me up.
8. The Ten Commandments—one of Charlton Heston’s finest pieces.
9. The Roots series—required viewing for every American, I think.
10. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner—It reminds me of my own “Guess Who” moments I’ve had with past boyfriends of mine.
11. Sisters in Cinema—Seriously…this movie inspired me and changed my life. This film together with Robert Rodriguez’s book “Rebel Without a Crew” gave me the push I needed to get into filmmaking.
12. Fishers of Men—a Catholic classic…I’m still impressed by it.
13. The Star Wars trilogy…and yeah I liked the more recent ones too.
14. The Exorcist (1973)—Mark started laughing when I said, “Well, it made me want to take my butt to church.”
15. Therese (1987)—an utterly stunning film.
16. The Color Purple—another black classic.
17. Sleeping Beauty—I’m debating on naming my daughter Aurora.
18. Toy Story—I love Pixar!
19. Sixteen Candles—Because my 16th birthday sucked too.
20. Bella—Because this movie made me feel something, and not many films can do that.

Honorable Mentions: Rebel Without a Cause, Raising Victor Vargas, Juno

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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I just read that 19-year-old American Idol contestant Paris Bennett has confirmed that she is pregnant. 19 years old. I’m 19….and if I know anything for sure it’s that I don’t need anybody calling me anything that starts with an “M” and ends with an “ommy.” I’m glad we don’t have a dead baby on our hands, but is it just me or do babies seem like the new chihuahua puppies?

There have been plenty of celebrities who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock this past year, even some of my faves like Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry…and to make matters worse, no one is getting married (save Jessica Alba and Ashlee Simpson).

I’ve also noticed that pregnancy and network television have come together in an unholy matrimony. I was flipping through the channels the other day and almost dropped the remote when I saw Molly Ringwald. I confess that there was a certain point in time when I would not watch a film unless it had been made in the 1980s and was starring the said red-headed teen star.

The preview was for the new ABC Family show “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” a show that comes in due time given the current American teen pregnancy controversies. I didn’t watch the show, but it appears to be doing well.

My mom’s new favorite show (that I will confess I sat and watched with her last week) is “The Baby Borrowers” on NBC. This show sets up teen couples who claim they want to get married with infants, toddlers, teenagers, and eventually elderly people that they must care and provide for. The show is actually sort of comical and some of the couples are actually quite mature, but what made me queazy was the fact that each couple has been given a house and a car, and are allowed to sleep together in the same bedroom…on national television. There’s no sex (I think) but I’d raise all kinds of hell if I had to sit and watch my fifteen-year-old daughter sleep with her boyfriend.

I bring all of this up because these shows have had me thinking these last few days—what should my response be as a Catholic? I can appreciate that these shows are portraying realistic situations. In a sense, the smiles you see on some of these young pregnant celebrities’ faces are more glamorized than scripted shows. But at the same time , there’s something icky about it all. For some reason I can’t shake the feeling that pregnancy is the new black, babies are the new Coach bag, and the entertainment industry is just maximizing on it…

What say you?

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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Allow me to direct your attention to two reality webisode series starring you guessed it…Catholics!

First up is Priest Academy, a French show starring two Catholic priests and one seminarian.

Can any of my French or otherwise super-smart multi-lingual readers translate what’s going on in this clip? It’s the teaser for the show, but I only took Spanish in high school.

Also, check out Joey Fiero: My Life as a Struggling Actor, a Youtube series about Joey Fiero, his wife and aspiring screenwriter Jacquie, and their two kids as they try to “make it” in Hollywood. I just noticed that Joey had subscribed to my videos on Youtube and when I clicked on his photo I discovered his really awesome and family-friendly series.

Random thought: What do you think about me doing a CFS award show? That could be fun.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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Angela wrote a nice post entitled, “Supermodel Your Hero? Hold that thought.” about Adriana Lima’s latest GQ cover:

Remember the secular world’s shock and the Catholic world’s awe when supermodel Adriana Lima told a GQ interviewer that she was a strong Catholic and would remain a virgin until after marriage?

But wait…

What’s this?

In a more recent edition of GQ, under a feature titled, “Love, Sex & Madness,” Adriana poses nude. The mag’s cover shows a strategically-placed leaf over some more personal parts…What’s up with that?”

Compare this now to my blurb about Adriana in the last edition of the Rumor Has It thread:

…Pro-life Victoria Secret supermodel Adriana Lima is engaged to NBA star Marco Jaric…I know people just looooove to get down on models and actresses who like to get naked for money, but I’ve always liked Adriana and she has clearly stated on more than one occasion that she opposes the culture of death…give her a break…

Let me make myself perfectly clear: I agree with Angela. Scantily clad women on the covers of men’s magazines is nothing more than softcore pornography, and pornography is an evil of this world that currently has a hold on millions of men (and women.) But while I agree with her about the cover, I do however have a different perspective on Adriana and Christians in the entertainment world in general.

While I (like Angela) would not describe Adriana Lima as my role model, I understand her and I respect her. It’s hard enough being Catholic as it is, but standing up for the Church when you work as a contract model for a mainstream brand that probably donates to anti-life causes is tough stuff. She has the luxury of being a household name, but if Victoria Secret wanted to get rid of her they could have. Girlfriend has gonads, and I can’t be mad at her for it.

Now. I have always found that the best evangelization tool is just being myself. I had a friend who when I first met him described himself as an atheist, but then after growing a bit closer to me started to ask about Jesus. That led to conversations about scripture and then eventually to conversations about the church. He hasn’t gone running to church to be baptized, but the seeds have been planted and I trust that the Holy Spirit will continue to work in him.

I’ve had other experiences like that, and I’ve come to the conclusion that you have to meet people where they’re at. In a similar vein, I have a lot of gay friends/know a lot of gay people. During my freshman year I went on a retreat as required by a class on diversity and tolerance. In one of the group sessions the discussion turned to the topic of gay marriage, and as expected I was one of only a few who were firmly against it. The argument got a bit heated between myself and one of the other members of the group who happened to be the president of our campus Gay-Straight Alliance, but later on that night we had a long talk in which I explained what I was saying and tried to make it very clear that the church doesn’t hate gays or anything of the sort. He didn’t change his opinion and neither did I, and eventually the conversation peacefully culminated in comparing notes about shoes. After that retreat he would always say hello to me around campus, and there was always a certain tone of respect and understanding in his voice.

My point is that though we may stand for truth, we have to always be conscious of whether we are condemning or teaching because outright condemnation isn’t going to get us anywhere. If I ever had the chance to talk to Adriana Lima about her career, I would ask her what she thinks she is accomplishing and whether or not it aligns itself with what she believes. I don’t think Adriana posed nude to hurt anyone, she did it because that’s what she knows. She knows her career, she knows the entertainment industry, and at the moment she knows that this is what is in demand. She will only know this until someone shows her differently.

Take for instance the story of St. Pelagia (a story I am considering adapting into a film):

Pelagia was a brilliant actress in Antioch, in what is now Syria, who possessed a great number of beautiful jewels, servants and lovers, including the empress’s brother. She was reported to have used sorcery and drugs to bring people under her power, and was famous as far afield as Cappadocia and Cicilia, both parts of what is now Turkey.

One fine day in Antioch she was passing by a huddle of bishops who were sitting around listening to a sermon by Bishop Nonnus. When the pious bishops saw this flamboyant woman parading past, dressed in clothes that left little of her famous beauty to the imagination, and trailing a retinue of admirers, they averted their eyes. Nonnus, however, gazed at her and then burst into tears.

As the story goes, Pelagia noticed Bishop Nonnus who was saddened that such beauty be wasted on the lusts of men, and she went to hear him preach the next day. Pelagia was converted and baptized, and the rest is history.

We need to teach our girls the importance of modesty and chastity, and at the same time we need to teach our boys about true manhood. As for those like Adriana, my response and my instinct is to show compassion and to lead by example as Bishop Nonnus did. Perhaps I should be a bit more gung ho about it, but my experience just won’t let me.

I had my conversion in high school, but my views on chastity didn’t align themselves with my faith until some time later. But like Ali Landry (who was also a model), Eduardo Verastegui, and many other Catholics in Hollywood, once I saw the light, I really saw the light, and that light breathed new life into my career choices. I pray that one day Adriana will experience what I and so many others have, but until then, I’ll take her just as she is.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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Pewsitter published the following article written by a former fallen-away Catholic, Mary Rose Maguire, about the joy of re-discovering the beauty of Catholic women. When I read it, the message just rang so true in my heart I had to share some of it with you:

Catholic women are real. They’re full of grit and full of grace…There is something about the Catholic faith that purifies a woman. Catholicism talks about such things as sacrifice and suffering. This is the language of woman. They understand because it is in our nature to experience these two things. When a woman is called into marriage, she is required to sacrifice her own preferences in order to place her husband ahead of herself…

I think Catholic women instinctively know that submission is required of them. A good Catholic woman not only accepts this, but rejoices in it. It is this joy that shines forth from them, and those who meet them realize something is different. It is because they’re seeing the rare occurrence of a woman who is not fighting against God. That is powerful. There are lots of women fighting against God right now but many Catholic women stand apart.

There is such strength in Catholic women, and to me - it’s because they understand that they are weak. As our Blessed Virgin Mary said to the angel, “Let it be done to me according to your word.” And good Catholic women everywhere echo her words.

Go to Pewsitter and email this article to the ladies in your life. You can check out Mary Rose’s blog here.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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It’s for real this time…like for really real.

My second blog Modestia, a blog about modest fashion is officially up and running again. I had to put it on hiatus a few months ago because I couldn’t maintain it and this blog at the same time—I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to start another blog while the semester was ending and my workload was at an all-time high. But nevertheless, Modestia is back, so please check it out and tell your female friends.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

PS: Don’t you just love how both of my blogs have practically the same color scheme? I can’t help it, I’ve been feeling funky and neon these past few fashion seasons.

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Behold, it is here. There will be more lengthy clips in the next vlog episode. I’m working on getting the pictures up on FB.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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UPDATE 6/26: This time it’s really fixed…
UPDATE 6/24: The episode has been fixed. After reviewing it again….I promise the next episode will be better. CNMC footage is on the way.

In this episode:

* Footage from my Cabo trip
* My 3rd and final project for my PROD 200 class
* Summer action movies!
* CNMC Contest: To qualify, just leave a comment on the post. Be sure to fill out the email section so I can contact you. (And if you went to the CNMC, you do not qualify for this raffle.)

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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….from the CNMC!

It was AMAZING! It was so nice to finally meet the people I’ve been talking to online for forever and a day. I didn’t get to meet everyone who was there (sorry if I missed you) but it sounds like there will be another event next year.

I have plenty of stories to share and I will be blogging/vlogging about the event all week. I have a lot of footage to sort through so give me a day or so before I start posting stuff.

Some photos from the event (with more to come):

Myself and LISAAAA!

With Pat Padley from On the U (who turned out to be gigantic in person…)

Angela, Fr. Roderick, and myself

Heh.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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Celebrity News

Actor Jon Voight (who played John Paul II in an adaption of his life) was recently interviewed about his Catholic faith…

…I reported months ago that French actress Bridget Bardot was on trial for her “racist” comments against Islam…she was convicted and fined for “inciting discrimination” by saying that Muslims are destroying France…fair enough I suppose…but does no one remember that one time when Paris was randomly being burned to a crisp by “angry youths”? Those “youths” weren’t Carmelite nuns…I’m just sayin…

…Actor James McAvoy was on Jay Leno’s show and mentioned how he wanted to be a priest when he was 16…he decided against it once he started having luck with the ladies…

…Fashion Icon Yves St. Laurent passed away recently and apparently had a ginormous Catholic funeral in Paris…go out in style…that’s what I say….

…Pro-life Victoria Secret supermodel Adriana Lima is engaged to NBA star Marco Jaric…I know people just looooove to get down on models and actresses who like to get naked for money, but I’ve always liked Adriana and she has clearly stated on more than one occasion that she opposes the culture of death…give her a break…

…Ali Landry presented an award at a Microsoft sponsored event for our troops a few weeks ago…

…So apparently Mel Gibson is still mentoring Britney Spears:

For more than two-and-a-half hours, the singer, 26, and the actor-filmmaker, 52, met in what was confirmed to PEOPLE as a more of an ongoing guidance session than a business pow-wow…the photog, described her as “very quiet”…by contrast, an upbeat Gibson left his silver Lexus with the valet and walked in holding what was described as a “man-purse” up to his face and a look of “okay, you got me” as paparazzi snapped his picture.

…I must say that I am utterly disturbed by the fact that Mel Gibson rocks a man-purse…my image of him has been shattered…Mel, has Hollyweird gotten you too?

…I know I’ve been critical of the Metanoia Films bunch lately, but I just recently learned that “Bella” Producer Leo Severino and his wife Jacque are expecting their first baby…shady marketing = bad…new life = good…Congrats to the happy couple!

And last but certainly not least, RIP Tim Russert. I actually met him a few years ago when I was still on my “I wanna be Oprah” tip at a journalism camp at George Washington University. He was a very nice man, he answered all of my questions (and boy did I have a lot of them), and he took us around the set of “Meet the Press.” He will surely be missed.

Film News

I received a confirmation phone call last week. The 2009 Cinema Vita Film Festival is officially on. I will be playing an ongoing role in the planning of the event though I will let you know more details as they are confirmed to me.

…I don’t want to really talk about it until the plans are set in stone, but rumor has it that the editor of a very popular Catholic news site is planning to host another film festival later this year…it might even be for next year…but that is so besides the point.

…is Hollywood rumbling again? Rumor has it that another strike is brewing…only this time it’s the actors…

…Move over Jesus Christ Superstar, an officially approved musical about the Blessed Mother is set to premiere in the Vatican…

…last call for the Angelus Student Film Festival is July 1st…one of the 2004 festival winners just won a prestigious award for her film To Die In Jerusalem. Click here to watch the trailer.

…Sarah’s Law proponents are hosting a Youtube video contest…the deadline is June 30th…click here for more details….

…I am quite pleased to announce that The Human Experience had its debut at the Maui Film Festival and won the best documentary category…

Up above in the totally posed starshot-esque photo we have a fraction of the Grassroots crew. From l-r it’s Mike Campo, producer of the film, and Jeffrey and Cliff Azize who are the two brothers featured in the movie…Mike let me know yesterday morning that some of the crew will be in Los Angeles all weekend for three screenings of the film. Click here for details.

Clergy/Relgious News

A priest has been elected as the next president of the UN General Assembly…that’s pretty major news…is he even allowed to do that?

…an Italian princess has re-verted to the faith….a Mexican bishop has become the youngest in the world…

…SWEET! 10 seminarians were ordained to the priesthood in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, the highest number in a decade…

…Priests for Life director Fr. Frank Pavone met with presidential candidate John McCain to talk about the defense of the culture of life….I’m not a big fan of John McCain, but with stuff like this he’s starting to grow on me…

…the German Cistercian monks who have recently received fame for their Gregorian Chant have officially hit the charts….

…now this is just my personal opinion, but I feel as though women who lay down their lives for their unborn children should be automatically considered for sainthood…Polish volleyball champion Agata Mroz died June 9th after she delayed a bone marrow transplant to preserve the life of her daughter who was born on April 4th of this year…local Catholics are comparing her to Blessed Gianna Beretta Molla.

Media News

As if his encyclicals, letters, speeches, and very cute smile weren’t enough, the Vatican will be publishing a full set of his Awesomeness Papa Ben’s written works…Papa Ben is also reportedly working on a new book and a new encyclical during these summer months…

…both Zenit and NCR wrote two very nice articles on SQPN, Rosary Army, and the CNMC…

…they’ve been gone for a bit, but the Hands and Feet Show will be back on your ipod June 30th…

…HD.net did a nice piece on the Catholic Underground movement…the first SoCal CU event is tomorrow on the 21st in LA. Some of the friars will be there as well as the Grassroots crew…and last I heard JP Catholic was going to have a heavy presence as well…click here for more details.

New Links:

Check out:

* New Ethos
* Family Theatre Productions
* Oasis Productions
* Hidden Padre Productions
* Here’s some kid friendly content
* St. Paul’s Tube

Random:

And in total non-CFS news, one of my favorite musical artists British/Sri Lankan rapper M.I.A. announced she’s getting married. Congratulations Mya!

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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Sigh.

Despite the fact that the entire theatre was shrieking from laughter, The Happening is a sci-fi-ish thriller where one day people just start flipping out and killing themselves. One chick uses her hair chopsticks to stab herself in the neck, another guy drives into a tree, another one shoots himself…you get the picture. At first everyone thinks it’s biological terrorism, but eventually our protagonist Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) a biology teacher by trade, figures out that the real problem is….the plants. (AAAAAAAAAH!) As it turns out (I know I’m spoiling it…sorry) the real problem is that mother Earth is defending herself against big bad humankind by releasing some sort of hormone/chemical/thingamajig that causes people to kill themselves. (Geeez M. Night, global warming much?) Elliot grabs his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel), his best friend Julian (John Leguizamo) and Julian’s daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) to escape the city and find safety somewhere the chemicals haven’t been released into the air. People die, trees triumph…the movie just gets more freaky deaky from there…

I never saw Lady in the Water, but I didn’t believe the hype that M. Night Shyamalan had lost his mojo either. Some of my favorite thrillers are Shyamalan pictures….and I just…I wouldn’t allow myself to believe the hype. Well let me tell you, M. Night Shyamalan has lost his mojo. (Maybe he’s madly in love…or sick? Does anyone know?) Because sweet baby Jesus The Happening was awful. Within the first 20 minutes I turned to my mother and said, “This is the worst movie ever” which of course she promptly shushed and said, “It’ll get better.” (Let’s just say that once the credits rolled some guy a few seats down from me yelled, “That was bulls***!” a statement that the entire theatre promptly applauded.)

Usually I can deal with an otherwise bad movie if the screenwriting is decent and the cinematography is interesting. But the screenwriting was awful and the cinematography was even worse. Much of the dialogue was boring and repetitive (Zooey Deschanel must have asked “Do you think it’s the plants?” at least ten times) and the cinematography was all wrong. Zooey Deschanel is a very beautiful woman, but she has these big round blue eyes that if not framed correctly can make her look wacky. So if you use repeated close-ups of her with these huge blue eyes the scene becomes comical, not scary.

And then there was Mark Wahlberg. It was bad enough that his lines were crazy too (like “Why are you only giving me one piece of useless information at a time?” Whaaaat?) but he also delivered half of them in that fake high-pitched voice people use to talk to a baby. I’ve never met him, but Mark Wahlberg looks like the kind of guy who could put a few mofos’ faces on the ground if he really wanted to…I’m just sayin…

My favorite scene was a tie between one where a guy feeds himself to a group of zoo lions and another particularly hilarious chilling scene where Mark Wahlberg tries to negotiate with a tree not to kill him, his wife, and his best friend’s daughter who is under his care. All I could think was, “Mark, if the tree is really that threatening just drop kick it 300 Spartan style or burn it or something and let’s roll the credits.”

I honestly don’t understand how M. Night could have messed this up so badly. Any form of airborne disease or sickness is utterly terrifying and therefore an awesome device for a film. If I had any control over the marketing of the film I would have demanded the genre be changed to a thriller-comedy just so we could save a little face. Geez louize….

If you were thinking about going to see this movie…don’t…or do…if you’re looking for a good laugh. (But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

PS: Here’s one positive thing—the film has a great title. There, be happy now.

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Well, even if the movie is as bad as some are saying, this trailer isn’t deffering my excitement. Since the movie is set in Italy, it will be interesting to see how Catholicism is portrayed in the film.

Pax Christi, Rebecca.

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